Mike's First Fathers Day!

Yesterday was Papa Bears first fathers day! Sadly he had to work but after that he took the baby bear to his fathers while I made dinner for him. I made burgers with onions, mushrooms, sweet baby rays bbq sauce and sweet potato fries. Mike requested dirt for dessert like his mom used to make so I threw some together. It felt like we were in elementary school again, so yummy and awesome!

Ivan has grown very fond of his blue elephant and he spends a good portion of his day chewing on it and giggling. We have the best baby!


day in the life of

Here is an average day in the life of me.
6am- I have already been at work for 3 hours and have started to bake my bread.
 7am- Specialty breads are done.
 8am- I move on to the Italian bread and start to finish up my bake. It's Sunday so this bake is small and I get to go home after six hours.

9am-All packed up, doors locked and ready to go home.

 10am- Baby Ivan is happy in his swing  while I pick up the house.
 11am- The little bear gets dressed on this chilly spring day and is all smiles for it.

 Noon- It's nap time in the house, baby bear falls asleep in his bouncer and the kitties fall asleep with mama bear in the bed.

1pm- Showered finally and ready for our day! Working so early makes my day way out of order compared to normal peoples.
2pm- Dishes and cleaning up the house, I seem to do a lot of this.
 3pm- Pack up the diaper bag and head out to run errands and shop.
 4pm- I promise I'm not driving when this was taken.
 5pm- Out to dinner with papa bear where Ivan enjoys munching on his blanket the most.

 6pm- Bath time, last bottle of the day then off to bed for the mama and baby bear!


Dear Ivan, Month One

Dear Ivan,

Your first month went by far to quickly. The second day in the hospital you got your first bath which you hated, once we got home you soon grew to adore bath time. We went home after 24 hours and your Grandma Laurie stayed the first few days with us. The first two nights were some of the toughest. I wanted so desperately to breast feed you but you just seemed so starving all of the time. After the second night of you not sleeping because you were hungry a nurse from The Birth Place came to check on us and it was determined that I wasn't producing anything for you to eat. She called it a crisis situation. Your doctor had us supplement with a little bit of formula hoping that it would just take me a bit longer, sadly I never produced more than an once at a time for you and we now have you on formula only. It was the last thing I wanted but you didn't seem to mind and you are growing like a weed.
This month you spent a lot of time napping with me and Papa Bear showed you off to everyone he could. We went every where with you and you loved traveling. The car seat and stroller was one of your favorite places. There was some trouble getting you to sleep because of gas but we got special bottles and all was fine. You slept in your pack and play right next to me or I would sneak you into bed with me when Papa wasn't there.

Nana came down to see you all of the time. The three hour drive didn't bother her at all and she would call every day to check on you. Grandpa Brett and Grandma Jean came to see you at least once a week and helped Mama when she was tired. The first person to babysit you was your Aunt Lindsey at three weeks while Mama and Papa went book shopping and to lunch. Everyone kept telling us how fast time was going to fly by for us and it really was true.


Ivan's Birth Story

On April 3rd at 1:02pm Ivan Joseph Dougher was born. This is the story leading up to that moment.
About a week before Ivan was born I started getting this really bad tummy ache that was really bothering me.  Tuesday March 29th was my 39 week midwife appointment and I told her about it, she told me to call her the next morning if it didn’t get better. Of course it didn’t so bright and early I gave the office a ring and went in to have a nonstress test. Turns out I was in early labor with contractions 5 minute apart, silly me I didn’t even know. After being checked out and them determining that I was only 2 cm dilated they sent me home to wait it out. The 3 block walk home really kicked my labor into the painful zone. Within 2 hours I was in a lot of pain with each contraction. I called the midwife and she had me come back in to check me again, no change. Cut to 10pm that evening, my Mom had drove down from her house 3 hours away and we had all basically sat around as I was in never ending labor. Finally I had to fall asleep. 5 hours later I woke up and wasn’t in labor anymore. I called the midwife as soon as she was in her office and she was totally puzzled and told me to go walk around for awhile to see if it would kick back in. Three hours of walking around the mall did nothing but make me sad and super tired. My mom went home that afternoon and Mike spent the next two days trying to get me to stop crying. I was a mess, after being in actual labor for so long and not getting a baby at the end I have never felt so defeated in my life.
Saturday April 2nd I spent the day cleaning the house and watching the X-Files while Mike was at work. I had finally calmed down and accepted that the little bear would come when he was good and ready to come out. At 4pm I sat down to play on the internerd and I started having contractions. I totally ignored them . Mike came home and we went out to dinner with a gaggle of friend at our favorite restaurant the Coppertop. During dinner Mike started noticing that something was wrong, every few minutes I was getting this pained look on my face. I finally admitted that I was having contractions but didn’t want to do anything about it till I was for sure going to have this baby. After dinner we stopped by the store to get cat litter and a few other things for the house. In the middle of Walmart I declared that I was in labor and we had to “fucking get home right now”. Labor brought out the potty mouth in me for sure. At 10 pm I called the midwife to tell her and we went up to the hospital to get checked out and see what was happening. Still only 2 cm! We were going to be giving birth in this fantastic place called The Birth Place where they have big beds and everything is set up like a real home birth but with the wonders of being inside of a hospital. They wouldn’t admit us until I was 5cm so triage had me walk the halls till midnight. When the doctor checked me then I was sure she was going to send me home and tell me to wait it out. But guess what! 5cm! Off to the Birth Place we went!
Now I allowed Mike to call our family and my Mom to drive back down. Before I was afraid he was going to jinx it by telling anyone. I labored in horrible pain until my midwife came in at around 11am and broke my water, gave me the tiniest bit of painkiller she could and sent me off to relax in the whirlpool tub. I went from 7cm to 10cm in an hour thanks to that combination. After getting out of the tub and her checking me again the nurses told me I could start pushing. After 21 hours of painful labor I explained to them why they could push and I would be going home to nap. I had no urge to push like everyone says youre supposed to get. Sitting down made me feel super trapped so I had being walking around the whole time I was at the Birth Place so I was beyond tired and over it. Finally they convinced me to start pushing at 12:30. Everything was going great the first half, minus the horrible pain I was in every time I pushed, the second half Ivan’s heartbeat started dropping every time I had a contraction. Thanks to my fantastic midwife he came out and was just fine. 

As soon as they set him on my chest I started crying harder than I have ever cried. I kept asking the nurses and the midwife if I could keep him, if I could take him home. I was in disbelief that this beautiful creature was mine! Ivan was perfect at 7lbs 2oz and 20in. He cried like crazy, turned bright red and wanted to breastfeed right away. Three things which made the nurses so proud! My mom and Mike were fantastic during the birth. My mom held one of my legs because I was so exhausted I needed help keeping them back and Mike talked me through it all. After a few hours of new family time with just the baby bear, papa bear and I our family started coming to visit. I will never forget sitting surrounded by everyone who loves us holding our son. Even Mikes Mother and Father were in the same room together and that hasn’t happened in about 20 years! I couldn’t have asked for a better birth story, my little man was worth every second of pain and exhaustion and I would do it again a million times if I had to.


post pregnancy excitement

A list of things I am excited for after Ivan is born:
  • planting a garden in our former weedy side yard
  • building a new wardrobe that makes me feel pretty every day
  • going on long walks with papa and baby bear
  • eating every meal on one of our two porches
  • iced coffee. lots of iced coffee
  • brie. i am going to eat 10lbs of it.
  • taking a trip to local wineries.
  • sleeping on my tummy.
  • kissing squishy little baby hands.
  • taking durden outside on a leash. cats on leashes will never stop being funny.
  • riding my bike. favorite summer time thing ever.
  • swimming in oswego at flat rock.
It will be the best summer so far. I am so looking forward to sharing it with our new expanded family.


10 Goals for 2011

Last year on my birthday I made a huge list of 23 goals before I turned 24. Life being as it is I got sidetracked by switching around jobs, moving twice and getting pregnant. Therefore those got tossed aside. This year I have decided to make some goals but a lot less and ones that were more general. It's funny how different this year is than last. Last NYE we went to our friend’s house and partied hard (which is super unlike me ever). We also lived in a tiny apartment with no dog and were just getting used to being back together after a 6 month separation. This year we were with most of the same people but it was a calm celebration around a kitchen table eating snacks and catching up with everyone. We are 27 weeks pregnant with our first son, living in an apartment that is over 2 times the size and I am working only part time while Mike works 3 jobs. With that sprit here are my 10 goals for 2011:

1. Read more.
2. Have a healthy and happy baby boy.
3. Write in cursive more.
4. Watch less TV. 
5. Discover new music.
6. Spend tons of time outside on our 2 porches (yup our house rules).
7. Open an etsy shop.
8. Hand make our home into something I love.
9. Get rid of clutter. We could be on hoarders.
10. Take time to work on our relationship.

This list should be much easier and more fulfilling to check off at the end of the year when I look back. Plus everything is super positive for our life, there is nothing meaningless on it. With that I will leave you with a few pictures of us from before we left for the NYE get together.

new years eve 2010
new years eve 2010

Happy new year everyone,


Danzig in a bag.

Danzig in a bag. She spent hours running and jumping in it. I will never spend money on one of those cat climbing things we will just save boxes and bags.


birthday celebration with the mom

Today my Mom came down to celebrate my 24th birthday (which is Sunday) and Christmas with me. We had a fantastic time shopping, attempting to train my dog, eating a delicious lunch and opening presents. Since my birthday and Christmas are so close together I always get "Birthmas" presents from here. Which just means two times the normal amount of stuff all mixed together.
 She gave me the little point and shoot camera I had on my wish list just in purple, a bunch of super warm nice socks (she buys me the things I love to own but hate to buy), a stocking full of awesome little trinkets, took me maternity clothes shopping and gave us some seed money to save up for a new mattress and box spring. A fine year if I do say so myself! I made her a bunch of things including granny square slippers and a big embroidery project to hang on her wall that I of course didn't take pictures of. Here are a few pictures from the day. Expect way more pictures now that I have a handy camera that I can carry around with me.

My step grandmother made Ivan a beautiful afghan.

All around a wonderful day. I love my family so much.


tumblr photo dump!

Here are some pictures from the last week or so in no real order. It has been snowing for a week straight here. There has been a lot of inside working on presents time.